


Simple Steps

by TippierCoffee



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Adding tags and characters as I go, Backstory, Birthday, Canon-Compliant, Childhood Memories, Depression, Dorks, Early Relationship, Fear, First Kiss, Flirting, Friendship, Happy Birthday, Healing, Home, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Internalised Homophobia, Intrusive Thoughts, It takes time, M/M, Memories, Mental Healing, Nico Birthday Event 2020, Nico finding his place in camp, Past, Permanent - Freeform, Physical Healing, Self Loathing, Strength, Temporary, Trust, Uncertainty, What is Home, World War II, camp visit, character flaw, confide, fleeing italy, getting healthy, intimate, kiss, power exploration, present, prompts, reflecting, sharing stories, slight angst, special trait, work out routines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22388866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TippierCoffee/pseuds/TippierCoffee
Summary: Nico’s birthday is coming up, which means another birthday event with promps (check out solangeloweek on tumblr).The prompts fit quite well to explore what happened between HOO and TOA
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 14
Kudos: 151





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do not own—nor do I claim the rights to—the Percy Jackson universe or any of its characters. All credit goes to rightful owner: Mr. Rick Riordan.  
> Enjoy :)
> 
> Last year for the Nico birthday event, I made one multi-chapter story where each chapter had the prompt of the day. This year, I want to attempt the same. Unlike last year, which in my head took place after TOA, this year’s fic will take place between HOO and TOA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Power exploration

Nico wasn’t entirely sure what he’d expected after his infirmary stay, but being barred from using his powers in the foreseeable future was definitely not it. Worst of all, he couldn’t even really bring himself to be annoyed at Will for his final verdict. Will had been nothing but patient and extremely professional. Nico was grateful for the effort Will had put into Nico’s infirmary stay, truly. He even thanked the guy and would say he was definitely on friendly terms with the son of Apollo. So in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t all that bad. Just a bit frustrating.

Still, Nico was very much interested in being cleared to use his powers again, so he took to Will’s re-training schedule without much of a fuss. It was a good plan, to be honest. It gave Nico a routine, which was so new to him, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

The routine consisted of when to wake up and when to go to bed. There was a diet plan, including when to take which vitamin supplements—Will had prescribed him a lot of those because of all the vitamin deficiencies. Coupled with the diet-vitamin plan was a recommendation of how much to be outside to get some natural lights, as well as Chiron’s schedule for the Hades cabin. There was a hole in Nico’s schedule for an hour and a half after lunch, and because Will wouldn’t stop bugging him about coming to help out in the infirmary, Nico decided to come and do just that.

It was a lot less boring than he’d expected. The infirmary never smelled sterile, exactly. Whatever cleaning product they used smelled more like the strawberry field than antiseptics, and Nico was grateful for it. He couldn’t imagine walking around all day in the stench of disinfected tools. His stay, however, meant he’d implemented a few changes to the infirmary as well. Nothing grand, just a small detail. Mainly the uniforms of the healers. Walking around in shorts and flip-flops could not be healthy for anyone. Will had laughed at him when he said so, but he’d given in eventually. With the healers in scrubs and closed sneakers, the infirmary now looked just a little more professional. Not to mention, green was definitely Will’s colour. Not that Nico paid much attention or anything.

Of course, there were the weekly check-ups on his health, which improved much slower than Nico liked. It was frustrating to still be barred from anything more than summoning smaller bones. He couldn’t help but think it was an excuse for Solace to annoy him with that wishbone comment he made before Nico’s three-day stay. But, it had been three weeks now, and Nico saw very little progress. If anything, his body seemed much more tired than ever, and on this particular Friday, he’d had sword practice, nearly dropping his sword after training. He decided then and there, this couldn’t go on. After his shower, and eating lunch, he decided to ignore his camp schedule in favour of going into the infirmary.

A lot of campers were lying around lazily, a few were having arguments, but mostly it was calm. Nico suspected the end of summer camp was to blame. Most campers had already started packing up to go home, and it definitely dampened the mood in camp. Even the campfire wasn’t as bright as it had been for most of the summer, and the flames seemed to struggle to reach as high as they normally would.

He walked into the infirmary unannounced. No one paid him any attention, used to him being there on a regular basis. Some even greeted him with a wave, or a nod of their head, and Nico did his best to greet them back. He wasn’t always good at it, his brain still catching up to actually being welcome in here. More often than not his thoughts would start going to dark places, convincing him this was just as temporary as first time he wanted to stay. His welcome was wearing out, it wouldn’t be long now before people realised they didn’t actually want him here. He wasn’t sure how to deal with the thoughts, so he decidedly didn’t deal with the thoughts. Instead he distracted himself with other things when that happened. Usually one of the camp activities or an extra bout of sword practice. Lately, he’d started going to the infirmary as well to help clean and take stock, because it kept his mind occupied with something that was not thoughts about how creepy everyone must surely, secretly, still find him.

He did a quick once over of the healers in the infirmary. They were getting fewer by the day, since not everyone went home at the same time. Nico already knew Will was here year-round. They hadn’t delved into why that was. As long as it wasn’t just to keep an eye on Nico and his progress.

Will was not on the floor in the infirmary, and Nico didn’t recall having seen him anywhere else, so he went for the break room. He walked at a bisque pace, probably looking like someone on a mission. In a way, he supposed he was on a mission. The door separating the break room from the infirmary was a fairly simple one. Nico would even call it anonymous. If you didn’t know it was there you probably wouldn’t see it, as it almost blended into the white wall. Even though Will had told him multiple times he could just come in, Nico still straightened his back and gave three firm knocks before entering. Not knocking, in his opinion, was incredibly rude.

Inside, the break room looked much different from the bright infirmary. Even though both rooms were decorated with green plants to not look sterile, the walls in here were a soft, pastel green rather than white, shelves of bright oak stacked with documents stood against the walls. There were pastel-coloured bean bags scattered about, soft chairs with white cushions, a small kitchen area and a table to eat at. In the far corner, there was a door painted in a soft, pastel purple colour which Nico knew lead into the changing areas. He’d never been in there, because it wasn’t his place, but Will said it was great.

Apropos Will, Nico found him almost immediately. He was in there with two younger healers, reading over their patient files with them and praising them for their work. They both looked rather excited. Not one to interrupt someone in the middle of a conversation, Nico went over to one of the bean bags and sank into it. The sound drew the others’ attention, and Will even gave him a smile. Nico gave him half a smile in return, before gesturing to the two healers Will were talking to, hoping Will caught onto the message. _Go on, I_ _’ll wait_. Will seemed to catch on, because he returned to walking over the files with the two others, pointing out a few things here and there where some of the information wasn’t clear enough, or they’d forgotten a timestamp of the last check-up. Very basic things, really.

It was another minute or two before Will sent off his siblings. He took hold of a beanbag and dragged it next to Nico, sitting down with a thankful sigh and closed his eyes.

“So. What brings you here, di Angelo?”

Nico picked at a loose threat in his jeans, considering how to word himself to not sound ungrateful. Will had told him he was quite forward and some people might misunderstand him if he didn’t consider his words at least a bit, which was annoying, because if you wanted something done, or wanted to communicate something, Nico believed you should do it as directly as possible.

“Your recovery plan is too slow.” That was eloquent.

Will let out a chuckle. “Right to the point as always.” He let out a thoughtful hum. “Do you have the plan I gave you with you?”

Nico shook his head. “Didn’t think it was necessary.”

“It isn’t really. I just wanted to see if I could stay down instead of getting up.”

“I can get up myself. I know where my file is and which page the copy is on.”

Will let out a grateful hum. “I’d really appreciate that. This is my first break today.”

Nico got up again and went to the many shelves. All files were in alphabetical order; Nico knew because he’d spent almost three hours redoing the whole thing with Will after a prank. Will had _not_ been very happy, and Nico had seen first-hand how intimidated people were with the prospects of a not-very-happy Will Solace. For some reason though, his files were in A for Angelo. Something about the D in di Angelo not being upper-case. Nico didn’t really care, it made it easy for him to find his file and pull out the copy of his recovery plan. Instead of just taking the single paper with him, he brought the entire file to Will in the bean bags.

He gave the file to Will and kicked his own bean bag closer to Will’s so he could lean over and read along. Will put the recovery plan on top of the file folder, holding it in his left hand and leaning into Nico to share. Their shoulders were touching, and Nico could smell Will’s shampoo. He couldn’t quite place the scent. He’d like to say lemony, but that didn’t seem entirely right.

“Hmm…” Will hummed. “So. What exactly do you want to be faster? Last I checked your vitamin levels are starting to get a lot better these days.”

Nico shrugged. “It’s not so much that. I’m sure it’s helping, because I do feel more awake. I also don’t look like a sheet of paper anymore. I guess it’s my physical form. I feel like my stamina is going down lately. Almost like I’m too heavy for myself or something, which is ridiculous, considering I carried the Athena parthenos.”

“Carrying her did leave a great strain on you. Also, from the file we’ve compiled of your health and life history, it seems you’re used to just running your body down and ignoring the signs, but now you’re being held accountable of actually letting it heal. All the chemical levels that were off kilter because of your overexertion are starting to level out, and I think, more than your weight, that’s what’s making you feel low on stamina. Like the way it made you physically exhausted the first week. We’re talking getting back from a major burn-out. All things taken into consideration, you’re healing decently fast.”

“I do have a competent doctor.” Nico caught Will blushing in the corner of his eyes and felt his heart skip a beat.

“Yeah. You do.”

Will smiled at him in that strange way he’d been doing lately. All soft with warm, shimmering eyes, and Nico was hypnotised by it. He never wanted to look away. Then Will broke eye contact and Nico fumbled internally to collect himself. He knew what this feeling was, and it was a bit scary. At the same time though, Will seemed to be flirting as much with him as he was flirting with Will.

“Anyway,” Will said, looking back on the paper. “I’ve been thinking about adding an exercise routine for you, because your body is at a point where you can start building up your stamina again in a healthy way. I know you want to use your powers again soon, but I think you should focus on your health outside your powers first and stay to only using your powers very little. As you build up your physical health, we can start looking at your underwoldly powers and how to manage them. For that step, I’ll need to monitor you quite closely, though.”

“Let me guess. You’ll need to do your magic touching thing to measure me and stuff.”

“You do pay attention.” Will gave him a push with his shoulder.

“Of course I do, you dolt.” Nico shoved him back, and his heart did another flip. He should definitely get around to telling Will how he felt soon.

“Anyways. I’ll see about plotting in a work-out routine for you with instructions of how to up it, and how much to push it. You still might not get it until your check-up on Monday though. That okay?”

Nico decided to take a chance and lean his head on Will’s shoulder. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Will didn’t move, and Nico could tell he was smiling. His entire body was relaxed, so Nico took that as a good sign. This didn’t need to be scary.

* * *

It took another month for Nico to build up his stamina. His work-out routine suited him well, and he had days in between to relax. There were jogs around the lakes that could be swapped for walks if he was feeling a little more tired than usual. Will joined him on most of his jogs. To keep Nico accountable, of course. At least, that’s what he said the first few times, but Nico was fairly sure it was an excuse, and at some point, they stopped pretending that was all it was. Will liked going on that jog as much as Nico did, and he liked the company as much as Nico did. Holding Nico accountable was not a major concern for him at all, and Nico knew it. Still, there was something heart-warming about being held accountable and having someone care so much. Will didn’t even nag Nico when he decided to have a cheat day, because, as he said, overall, Nico was getting along really well. Maybe it also had something to do with Nico spending most of his cheat days helping out in the infirmary.

And so, a month later, Will decided Nico could start playing with his powers again.

Nico was way more excited about that than he thought he would be. Even the prospect of having Will there with him, monitoring him, watching him, was exciting in its own right.

Between the physical work outs, the infirmary visits, and now the build-up and exploration of Nico’s powers and their actual toll on him, there were a lot of excuses to stand closer than necessary, and touch more than necessary. There were lingering looks, and flirty remarks, and legs pressed together during the campfire. To Nico it seemed both him and Will were a little more than friends, although they weren’t really anything official just yet.

“Let’s start with some of the milder stuff,” Will instructed. He fished out a paper Nico had compiled for him with what he could do, as far as he knew.

“We got summon skeletons, talk to ghosts, summon ghosts, necromancy?” he gave Nico a look and Nico shrugged.

“I don’t think we should look into that one. Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.”

Will nodded with a prideful smile. “Creating earthquakes, making cracks in the ground, generally manipulate the earth and the ground, navigate Daedalus’ maze?”

“I’m not sure about that one. After I released his soul, the maze changed quite a bit, and I’m not sure how exactly it works now. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to see if I could learn to navigate it again; or at least learn to read it.”

“Hm.” Will pursed his lips. “We’d definitely need Chiron’s approval for that one. What else is here?” he looked at the paper and found his spot. “Shadow travel, freezing temperature, dream-scaping?”

“I don’t know if I can enter other people’s dreams, but I can definitely manipulate my own ones. I once found Clovis in a dream, and he showed me a meeting you had here at the time.”

Will whistled lowly. “Anything else?”

Nico shrugged. “Those are the ones I know. But, you know, people seem discover new abilities all the time.”

Will nodded. “True. Well. I guess we better take it from the top then. One ability at a time. You do the ability, I measure your vitals before and after. We do some trial and error to figure out what your threshold actually is. For this reason, we will start with two training days and days of rest in between, and as your stamina, and our idea of your threshold get better, we’ll up the ante. Sound good?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah. That sounds fine.”

Will smiled in satisfaction, and Nico decided, since they were going to be spending even more time with each other, he might as well clear the air right away. It would definitely throw off Will’s readings if Nico’s mind sometimes wandered.

“Solace?”

“Hm?”

A beat. A breath. “I like you. A lot.”

Will blushed, his smile stretching. “Me too.”

Nico’s heart skipped a beat. He was kind of aware of it, but it was nice to hear out loud that this was mutual. “Alright. I just, figured that’d be good to have out there before we start this whole process.”

“Definitely,” Will agreed, stepping closer to put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s still try to net get too distracted by it.”

Nico scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t get distracted easily. Now, shall we get started?”

“We shall.” Will touched his left wrist to take his pulse, wrote down something on his clip board, and nodded for Nico to go ahead.

Nico crouched, concentrated, and then he felt like impressing Will at least a little, so instead of raising one skeleton, he raised ten. The kickback was mild, but there nonetheless. Dizziness and shaking legs. Not the worst, but Will was definitely _not_ happy with it. He scolded Nico about the data being useless now, but Nico couldn’t help chuckling. He felt lightheaded and free, so to make Will shut up, he gave him a chat on the shoulder and a challenging glance. Will’s mouth was twitching, like he was trying not to laugh, but Nico could see right through him. He had a good feeling about learning more about his powers and restrictions with Will.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Depression, self-loathing, and internalised homophobia.  
> A lot of the thoughts and emotions Nico is going through are inspired by my own struggles with depression and how I used to put myself down when it was at its worst. I wrote it as a flaw, because it can make you do some seriously hurtful and destructive things to yourself, even if you’re not self-harming.  
> As someone who’s combated severe depression, I know it can be tough, and I know it can be scary and feel shameful, but asking for professional help does not make you weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Character flaw/Special trait

By mid-November, Nico had built up a routine. It grounded him and made him feel safer than ever before. All in all, things were going well. His skin was starting to look much better, his body looked less like the skeletons he raised, and he was dating Will Solace.

Still, as camp emptied out, Nico couldn’t help but have moments where there was a pit in his stomach, and his breaths felt hollow. His head seemed empty and his steps seemed heavy. He got tired doing nothing; sometimes it was even a struggle to get out of bed. He pushed on when he had those days. Kept himself much more occupied than he normally would because a storm would eventually brew in his mind. Static noise and fragments of thoughts. Flashes of things he didn’t want to think about, and vicious words he didn’t want to be his.

Pushing on made the tiredness worse. It made him irritated and unapproachable, and people looked at him with worry in their eyes. Pity and disgust. Those days, although not necessarily many, had gotten worse, and today was especially bad.

At 6:30 am, he was to wake for his morning jog. He decided to have a cheat day and told Will when he came knocking on his door to jog together. He didn’t wake until 7:45 am, fifteen minutes before breakfast. He threw on his clothes, but his body fought against him. Almost like it didn’t want to move, but he didn’t have a fever. He didn’t feel any different than he had yesterday where he’d been laughing at the campfire with Will and his siblings before bed. It just seemed like whatever warmth was in his body, whatever light feeling was in his head, was gone. Now his body seemed heavy and rigid. Almost like someone had tied sandbags to his limbs and filled his head with lead.

It took him almost thirty minutes to get dressed. Something that usually took ten. His feet dragged to the dining pavilion where he met Will half-way because Will had come to check if he was alright. It was strange, because Will always made him feel warm and light inside. Nico suspected it had something to do with being in a relationship with him. Seeing Will just automatically brightened the mood. Not even that happened today. Sure, he pulled a grimace he hoped look like a smile, and the spark of affection was still there. But it seemed short-lived and dull. Drowning in this hollowness inside his body. It was almost like dissolving into the shadows again, except, instead of disappearing from the outside in, this time, Nico was disappearing from the inside out. Worst of all was, he didn’t feel scared of it. He didn’t feel anything.

He struggled with his breakfast, alone at his table. Will cast him glances, his brow furrowed. Nico knew Will was just looking out for him. Will cared for him because they were friends, and because they were more than friends. But his mind twisted the look. It made his head and insides burn as he struggled to eat. He knew he was hungry, he could feel it in the way his stomach was twisting around itself. But eating made him nauseous, as though he was stuffed.

The eyes of campers lingered on him. There were whispers all around. Will Solace sat there with his dumb worried eyes, which at some point, Nico’s mind twisted to look like eyes of pity. The heat of anger grew, his ears buzzing, his eyes burning.

The campers were talking about him again. Something in the back of his mind knew this wasn’t true. Was aware people welcomed him and tried as much as he did. Still, he couldn’t seem to push the thought they were indeed talking about him. It overshadowed everything else.

He knew what they were saying. No, maybe he didn’t. But actually, he did. He had always known this wouldn’t last. They were talking about him, looking at him, laughing at him. The creepy son of Hades, alone at his table. Suits him right for being a freak. The faggot son of Hades. So disgusting. Weak and gross and wrong.

The grass wilted around him. He couldn’t stop these thoughts. He really tried. A desperate, fading part of his rationality attempted in vain to convince him he was wrong.

There was static in his ears, a fire in his empty head and body, a lump in his throat, a practically uneaten breakfast. Eyes on him and the wilting grass. They were talking. They were scared. They wanted him gone. Even Will. Maybe especially Will. Because Nico was unlovable. He must be. No, he couldn’t be. He was a decent person, yes, with questionable intentions. No one could ever trust him. No one ever would. He was the weirdo with much more information than any camper, and he kept it all to himself, because he was selfish. Because he didn’t actually care about anyone but himself. That must be what they were all saying.

He felt like his body would explode, and his eyes would fall out. He was almost convinced he wasn’t breathing, because the air seemed stale and his hands were shaking. He needed to get away from them, and their judging eyes, and their stupid words. He should have known they wouldn’t want him around forever. Of course they wouldn’t, who would? A son of Hades must be a bad omen, no matter where he went. A sign of dead to come.

He accumulated the shadows around him just as Will got up. Will was just as fake as the others. No he wasn’t. But what if he was? Playing with Nico for information. But Will would never. Then again, their relationship and friendship was new, so could Nico really guarantee that? Percy had almost cut his throat with Riptide once, and that was when Nico was genuinely trying to help him.

He let the shadows swallow him, taking him wherever they wanted. He didn’t care. He just couldn’t be here. It was a dangerous thing, jumping through shadows without a destination in mind. He could end up in an unknown place, or get swallowed by the shadows. Maybe getting swallowed wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would be relieving. He was bound to lose the things and people he cared about anyway, even if they _did_ like him. Because Nico brought death with him wherever he went. Unlucky charm. Bad omen.

He landed on solid ground somewhere. He was so exhausted. He couldn’t make the thoughts stop. They assaulted him, made him feel worthless. He registered exactly one thing about his whereabouts; it seemed like a cave.

Curling into a ball, the temperature dropping around him, Nico covered his ears. It was a futile attempt, he knew that, but he wanted this noise to stop. He wanted it all to go away. He wasn’t worthless. He really wasn’t.

But of course he was. How could he be anything else? No one wanted him, no one would miss him, Will would move on like nothing happened. Like he never existed in the first place. They all would. They all had once before, so why would this be any different? The answer: it wouldn’t. Camp didn’t need him. Camp didn’t want him. No one wanted him. Nico didn’t blame them. Sometimes he didn’t want himself either.

A thought struck him. Short as it was, it sent tears falling. His mind must be short-circuiting, because suddenly he seriously thought about returning to Tartarus and letting himself get swallowed by the void. It was such a terrifying thought, and he didn’t want to entertain it; yet he couldn’t stop it. If he disappeared forever, he wouldn’t have to deal with this; whatever this was. Still, he didn’t want to disappear. People _did_ care about him. They did. They must do.

Nico curled into a ball, hyperventilating and crying, his mind playing tug-of-war. He wanted to be held. He wanted to be found. He wanted his mind to be proven wrong about no one caring. The thing was, even he didn’t know where he was. Maybe he really had disappeared. Maybe his dark, twisted wish had been fulfilled, but he’d been punished to live with the tormenting thoughts forever. It really wouldn’t surprise Nico if that was the case. He seemed to always get punished no matter what he did. Good deeds, bad deeds, neutral deeds, self-sacrifice. It didn’t matter what his intent was, punishment was always his reward. Maybe he deserved it though.

He cried until his eyes felt raw, and his breaths were heaving. It was almost like his lungs couldn’t expand or collapse properly. They hurt, and his heart hurt, and his throat hurt, and his head and eyes hurt. He cried and cried and cried, until he fell asleep.

* * *

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he woke again. Probably an entire day, because he could see out the mouth of the cave he was lying in. The sun was setting in the distance, the sky aflame. It looked pretty, serene. It made Nico relax on the hard ground, his muscles aching as though he’d been lifting heavy weights all day. His chest was still tight and much too warm, but breathing was easier.

No one had found him yet. Maybe they hadn’t even started looking. Or maybe the whole camp was in a frenzy, searching for him everywhere. It made him feel bad about himself. If they were all searching and all worried, that meant he was a horrible person. He wasted their entire day looking for his sorry ass.

He tried to move, but found he almost couldn’t. His entire body was shaking with the effort. Still, he managed to sit upright and lean against the cave wall, looking out on the sunset. He wondered what Will would say when they found him. Maybe Will would break up with him. Maybe it’d be for the better. Nico only knew how to destroy things anyway.

The sun touched the top of the water in the distance, and as he sat there, arms and legs limb, staring into the horizon, he realised he must be at the mouth of the maze, because that body of water was definitely the camp lake.

He should think about getting up, then. Curfew would be soon, and Nico would rather not get eaten by harpies. Would he? It sounded like an awfully painful way to go. If he were to ever go, he’d prefer something fast.

He must have sat there for at least another fifteen minutes before he had enough energy to stand. He stumbled on his feet, his knees bucking. His breaths were shallow, his eyes were stinging. He took one step, then another, until he was walking on autopilot. It was slow, his legs heavy with lead. He had to stop multiple times to catch his breath. Eventually he made it into the forest clearing that separated the lake from camp and walked into none other than Will Solace. His eyes were red and puffy, and he wore a whistle around his neck. They looked at each other for a while, Will’s face morphing between recognition, anger, and hurt. He looked like he wanted to scold Nico, and then seemed to change his mind once he took in Nico’s state of being.

“Where have you been?” Will asked, his voice soft and levelled. “We’ve all been worried sick.”

Nico looked down at his shoes. He couldn’t bear the look of hurt and betrayal in Will’s eyes. Will would definitely want to break up with him now. He’d sabotaged his first relationship within a month.

“Nico.” Will’s voice was still soft, this time laced with worry and care. He took Nico’s chin in his hand and forced Nico to look at him, and Nico couldn’t help it. He thought he was out of tears, but clearly not, because he started crying then and there. Will hushed him and pulled him into a gentle embrace. “Nico.”

This, Nico decided, was simultaneously all he wanted and shameful. He was the son of Hades. He was used to taking care of himself, and now, just because Will had looked at him with such concern, he cried like a little baby? It was mortifying, but he couldn’t stop it, and he found himself leaning into the touch, grabbing onto Will’s shirt as if it were a lifeline.

Will hushed him and stroked his hair. He sat him down in the grass and let him cry. He didn’t say anything, he just held Nico. Will’s own tears fell into Nico’s hair, and it made Nico feel even worse about himself, because those tears were his fault. He’d hurt Will Solace without even trying, because hurting people was what he did best.

“I’m sorry.” Nico’s voice was just a bit more than a whisper. Raw and scratchy against his throat.

Will kept shushing him. “Don’t apologise, Nico. You’re running a fever and not doing well. Breathe.”

Will started levelling his breaths, and Nico followed. He’d seen Will do this with other campers before in the infirmary. A hand on their shoulder, breathing with them. Deep and calm breaths. In and out. It emptied out his head and left his body as flaccid as a rag doll’s.

“I’m just glad I found you and that you’re safe.” He stood up and helped Nico to his feet. “Come on. Let’s tell the others you’re okay and get you to your cabin to have a look at that fever.”

Will supported Nico’s weight as they walked. Nico hoped he could one day grow to appreciate it more than he was, because mostly he felt embarrassed needing this much help and support. He was independent and self-sufficient. Why did he need this much help just walking?! Maybe because he was pathetic and weak.

They went to his cabin in a blur, Will yelling out he found Nico before they entered. Chiron came to the cabin at some point, also looking like he wanted to scold Nico, but then Will shook his head, and Chiron flicked his tail.

“Let’s have a talk about this in the morning, di Angelo. For now, eat something and get some rest.”

“Sir?” Will asked, looking up from his crouched position on the floor. “If I may. Nico is running a fever, and I’m worried about it. I’d like to stay to monitor him through the night.”

Chiron raised an eyebrow, but something in the way Will looked at him made him give in with a nod. “Very well. I’ll deliver what you need, Solace. I expect you to be strictly professional.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Chiron left and returned with clothes for Will, a cot, duvet and pillow, and medical equipment. He then turned to say his good nights, but before leaving, he looked back in the room. “I’m glad you’re back and safe, Nico.” Then he shut the door and left.

Will helped Nico out of his clothes, because Nico had no energy left for anything. Not even changing into nightwear on his own. He was angry at himself for being this helpless.

Will looked up at him. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Your body is exhausted as is. Being angry won’t help.”

Nico scoffed, but said nothing. He let Will dress him, even if it was embarrassing and had his mind screaming at him. Mocking him for being helpless and useless. Will changed his own clothes and broke a granola bar into smaller pieces. He handed them to Nico on a napkin.

“Here. Eat this.”

Nico raised his eyebrow and tried to eat the pieces. They were dry in his mouth and made him nauseous. But his stomach growled loudly, and it stung. He was so hungry, but he was way too tired to eat.

Will handed him a blue drink next. “Drink this as well. It’s Gatorade. Full of electrolytes. I think you’ll like it.” He fished up a bottle of water. “You should also drink this. You’re pretty dehydrated.”

Nico took a big swing of the water before continuing with the granola bar pieces, only now realising how thirsty he was. His throat must be dryer than sandpaper. Will broke up another granola bar and put it in Nico’s napkin, and Nico ate. Not fast, but he ate, and he finished both granola bars, two bottles of water, and half the Gatorade. Will fluffed his pillow and helped him lie down, and Nico decided to shush the voices mocking him for needing all this help.

Will folded out the fold-able cot. It didn’t look like the most comfortable thing in the world, but it seemed doable for sleep. Nico watched was Will pushed the cot all the way against Nico’s bed so they’d be lying next to each other. Will fluffed his own pillow before drawing the curtains, filling up water bottles for the night, and turning off the light. He lay down, the flames of the Greek fire illuminating him in a sickly green light. Nico wondered what was going through his head. How angry he actually was. He must be angry at Nico for disappearing on him like that.

“You know,” Will eventually said. “I always figured your mental health would be the next step in the recovery plan, but I didn’t know it would flare up this fast.”

“I’m sorry,” Nico mumbled.

Will reached out to touch Nico’s arm. “Don’t apologise. Sure, we were all worried sick, and most of us will probably be angry with you. Gods know I’m furious with you, but scolding you won’t help, because what you’re going through isn’t easy, and it’s not your fault. It’s normal for campers to get depressed after wars. We lose people and we feel like we failed. We go through a lot, and most of us wake up in cold sweats throughout the night because of nightmares about the wars and the enemies we’ve faced.” He kept stroking Nico’s arm in comforting circles, and Nico closed his eyes. Though he was tired, his body felt too warm, and his mind too fried to sleep. “Taking into consideration you have the history you have, I figured it’d only be a matter of time before it started taking a toll on you. There’s only so long you can go ignoring it before it backfires on you. But I never thought you’d up and leave like that. If I had known, I would have convinced you to start talking through everything sooner.”

“Talking through…” Nico couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Yeah.” Will sighed and stopped rubbing circles on Nico’s arms for a moment. Then started again. It felt really nice. “Physical wounds, I can heal with the touch of my hands and by humming a hymn. Mental wounds, I can feel are there, but they can’t just be healed like that. They take as much work as the physical work-out I gave you, and they make you just as tired, if not more. But it’s crucial to work through them by talking about them. Most of us talk with Chiron. He’s everyone’s psychologist. Sometimes, if we just want to talk to get it off our chest, we talk with friends or people we trust. The most important part is talking about what’s going on, what you’re feeling, what’s troubling you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Nico was not sure why he was so adamant about apologising. Maybe because Will was being unfairly nice to him after what Nico had just done. If Will had up and disappeared, Nico would have probably turned the world upside down to find him, and if he then found out Will had just been hiding, Nico wasn’t sure he could have ever stayed as calm and collected as Will had.

“I know.” Will’s voice was thin, a slight shiver. “I know you are, Nico. What’s done is done, and you’re safe, just… please don’t ever disappear like that again.” This time Will started crying. “I was so scared for you. If you feel overwhelmed, the big house have these seclusion areas. Tell someone you’re going there, and then go, but please… please don’t ever, _ever_ disappear like that again.”

Nico’s heart broke. He always hurt the ones he cared about. He always broke things that were precious to him. Will didn’t deserve this. He scooted closer, trying to drown the voices of how unworthy he must be. How Will deserved better than him. He drowned them and hugged Will; held him tight.

“I’ll try,” he promised. He was crying again somehow. “I’ll try to get better. But I’m not used to relying on people like this. It makes me feel weak and worthless. I should be able to take care of myself.”

“Nico.” Will pulled out a bit and caressed Nico’s cheek. “Nico. I know you’re used to only having yourself to rely on, but needing others sometimes is _not_ weak. You’re not alone anymore. It’s okay to sometimes need others to help you through a rough time. It doesn’t make you any less capable, or badass, or powerful. We all rely on each other sometimes, and that’s okay. Because together, we’re much stronger than we are alone. Even someone as strong as you.”

“I’m not strong. I’m a coward.” Nico swallowed. “And I can’t help but feel wrong sometimes. I get flashes of the thirties where people like me… like us got killed, and then I feel like… like maybe it’s true, and maybe I should just try harder to be normal. But I know… I know, logically, that this is fine, and it’s not wrong. I know that… and I know you all care about me. I just… sometimes I can’t stop these thoughts that tell me being with you is wrong and disgusting, and sometimes I can’t stop these thoughts telling me no one really wants me here. And I’m trying so hard.”

“I know you are.” Will wiped his tears. Nico was so tired of crying. “But intrusive thoughts like that are the hardest to fight on your own, Nico. They really are. It’s okay to be vulnerable and need help. I know you’re not used to that being okay, to having to rely on yourself to survive. But it really is okay. I want to make a promise with you. Hold you accountable. Whenever you feel down, tell me you’re having a bad day. You don’t need to go into details. Just, let me know so I can give you proper space. Or maybe even give you some self-help pamphlets. I can come with you to Chiron, if you want me to. Chiron is amazing at giving tools to cope with intrusive thoughts.”

Nico hummed. “I want to be able to beat them.”

Will laughed. “It’s going to be really hard. Even when you can get some help from others, you’ll also need to know how to recognise the signs yourself and take some steps yourself. But you’ll be so happy you did it. I promise.”

Nico’s chest felt light. Even though his head was still buzzing, and there were still voices calling him weak and unwanted, they were a little easier to push away when he was here, next to someone who cared so deeply for him. Even if he didn’t deserve it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry for the delay. My Saturday evening was absolutely horrendous. I spent all Sunday sleeping because I was so exhausted, and today I had my first day back at the study. I’m feeling better now, so I’ll do my best to catch up with Nico’s birthday event ^_^  
> Take care! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Past/Future

By late November it had gotten colder, but Nico still enjoyed being outside despite the chill. The grass was often dewy from the lower temperatures or the night’s frost, so Nico had brought a blanket to sit on by the lake. Will had a day off, and Nico felt like taking him out to the lake to just enjoy the view and enjoy the serenity.

The sun hung low on the sky, hidden behind clouds. The horizon was painted in soft purple and indigo hues. Will leaned against Nico with closed eyes, humming lowly to himself. It didn’t sound as bad as Will claimed it did, but since Nico knew Will wasn’t particularly confident in his musical abilities, it made him feel warm and happy that Will trusted him enough to be comfortable with humming around him.

They had shared a handful of life stories, worries, and insecurities between them, and grown closer. When in public, they mostly showed affection by playfully bickering, and Nico still marvelled at the level of comfort and ease he had around Will Solace. He never knew, or thought, he could have this.

“I want to tell you about my childhood.” Nico hadn’t realised what he was saying until it was out there; hanging in the air between them.

Will stopped humming and opened an eye to look at Nico. His face was neutral, the light reflecting in his blond hair and giving it an orange hue; his face had a pink tint to it. His eyes seemed brighter as well because of the pupils’ contraction.

There was a short moment where Nico felt embarrassed and wrong for staring, but he stilled the thoughts with some of the steps he’d been using and learning lately. Some days were still harder than others, but Will had said that was okay; that happened.

Will didn’t say anything. He just hummed softly in encouragement, his head comfortably staying on Nico’s shoulder. Nico didn’t even mind if Will closed his eyes.

The water in the camp lake moved softly in waves, reflecting the setting sun. Campfire must be soon, but Nico didn’t mind missing out to sit here with Will and just talk. He looked into the water. Focused on the colours of the horizon mirrored in the soft ripples.

“I lived in Venice, in a little house in San Marco. I remember we had a piano we played together, and Bianca and I often fought about who was better. Mama just laughed and told us we were both good; she also told us to play nice together. Bianca didn’t always want to play with me. She liked to play with her own friends a lot more.” He let out a soft chuckle. “I remember sometimes getting really angry and frustrated and sad about it, but mama said that I shouldn’t be sad. I should go make my own friends too. It was just, not many boys wanted to play hopscotch with me, only the girls. The boys liked to chase the horse carriages and the milk man or play with BB rifles. We often played pirates with the BB rifles, but mama didn’t like we played with them. She said we could lose an eye, so she wouldn’t let me play with the boys if they played with their BB rifles. Therefore, I often played with the girls. Most of the time they liked to play house. I was the family dog.”

This made will snort. “Should I start calling you Fido?”

Nico gave him a soft chat on the head. “Shut up, Solace.” He looked at the horizon again. The sky was darkening, and the sun was sharp. “When I was six, we went on a weekend trip to Greece. Mama wanted us to see all the godly statues all around, and the leftovers of the old Greek society. She told us stories about the gods and was very patient with us and our questions. When I was eight, everything changed, though. We had been out that day and gotten gelato. It was a really nice summer day. It was very hot too. When we came home, mama turned on the radio to hear music, and they announced Mussolini had said he would join Germany in the war and help attack France.”

Will nuzzled his nose into Nico’s neck and gave him a soft kiss on the jaw. A reassurance. Nico suspected his body might be doing something he didn’t quite pick up on. His heart was beating a bit faster than before, but he didn’t feel exactly bad. Still, he appreciated Will’s soothing gesture. It made him stop and remember to take a breath, realising his chest was tightening a bit. He realised, quite randomly, his mother’s face was rather blurry in his memory, and it made his heart sink. Still, he had decided to share this part of himself with Will, and he was going to commit to it.

“Mama got really scared what that would mean for us. She always prayed Italy would stay out of the war or join America. But now, since Mussolini said he wanted to be Germany’s ally, mama decided we should leave before it got too dangerous. She called nonno who worked in the Italian embassy in America. She begged him to help her get a visa and cross over, and nonno made sure to get it all sorted. We could leave Venice a month later.” The sun had almost sunk completely in the distance. “I was very angry at mama for wanting to leave Venice. I didn’t want to leave my home and my friends behind. Mama tried very patiently to explain it to me and Bianca. I was only eight, and Bianca was ten. She understood it better than me. She always seemed to understand most things better than me. So she cooperated with mama, while I fussed and threw tantrums because I didn’t want to leave Venice. Still, we had to leave, because mama wanted us to be safe. So we got on a boat to America. Even though I was sad to leave Venice, I was really excited about the boat ride. It was like being a pirate captain. None of my friends in Venice had ever sailed a ship before. I was the first of us pirates who got to do it, so I figured that made me the captain. Bianca even played with me and was my second captain. We pretended to steer the boat and updated mama all the time about the boat ride. Mama loved our stories and entertained us. She taught us the difference between port and starboard, and told us about, how good sailors could use the stars to navigate.”

He looked at the ground, where the lake water kissed the land. There was laughter in the background, meaning the campfire had started. It was impossible for people to not notice him and Will weren’t there since there were like, twenty campers left. Nico didn’t want to leave this spot with Will, who had snaked his arm around Nico and was stroking Nico’s left arm and hand.

“You know…” there was a knot in his throat. “I keep saying mama out of habit, and I can’t even remember what she looked like.” Will sat up and held him in an embrace, allowing him to cry. “I think both her and Bianca would have really liked you.”

Will hummed and stroked Nico’s hair. “I’m sure I would have liked them too.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: What is home?

“Hey Nico!”

The voice was familiar, and for a moment, Nico thought his ears had deceived him. First of all, because the communication at camp was starting to go haywire, and second of all, because the owner of the voice should really be studying, unless he wanted to face the wrath of his girlfriend.

Nico turned around and found that, no, he had not heard wrong. Standing by the big house was none other than Percy Jackson. He was wrapped in a comfortable looking jacket, painfully reminding Nico he only had a decently warm zip-up hoodie to keep him warm in the chilly December weather. He should really look into getting a new jacket as soon as possible.

“Shouldn’t you be studying to get into University, Jackson?” Percy looked forlorn and Nico raised an eyebrow. “Does Annabeth even know you’re here?”

Percy’s smile stretched. “Of course she does. She’s here with me.”

This had Nico almost short circuiting. “No way. Last I heard she was spending all of her energy on her own studies and bullying you into studying just as hard.”

“I’m bullying him now?” Nico turned around, met with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile. “Hi Nico.”

“Hey, Annabeth.” Nico tried for a smile. It was much easier today. “A day off. What gives?”

Annabeth shifted and exchanged a worried look with Percy. “We haven’t been able to contact anyone lately. We were getting a bit nervous about it, so we came to ask Chiron if he knew anything about it.”

Nico pulled a grimace. Everyone knew of the communication errors and how they affected people. Apparently, some campers who had gone on a supply run had almost been turned around by the border when coming back. As a result, rumours had started spreading that Chiron would forbid anyone from leaving camp for a while, because it wouldn’t be safe if the border started hiding even from demigods. If this was true, Nico feared for them all, because that would mean they had limited supplies now.

“I don’t think he can tell you anything.” Nico looked towards the big house. “He seems as worried as the rest of us. To make matters worse, Will says the Apollo cabin recently feel like they couldn’t contact Apollo at all. Not as in, he’s busy and difficult to reach, but more like he’s not there at all.”

Annabeth looked thoughtful for a moment. “I bet the two things are connected somehow.”

“That’s what I’m thinking too,” Nico said. “But we’ll have to look more into it before we can confirm or deny anything.”

Annabeth let out a thoughtful hum while Percy looked equally perplexed. Nico didn’t blame them. When the campers who went on supply run almost got turned around and were delayed by several days, bearing the news of the camp trying to hide from them, the dread and panic was clear to see in all campers’ faces. Even Nico was left with a bad taste in his mouth, not necessarily because he disliked camp, but he disliked the feeling of being trapped. Even if he weren’t to go on a quest again, the camp being open made him feel at ease staying, because he was aware he could leave at any point. That this wasn’t necessarily permanent. He had New Rome to go to if he wanted a change of scenery, or the mortal world if he was feeling reckless. If the mood hadn’t been moot lately, it certainly was now, and no one could do anything beyond try to move on as if nothing was wrong. They kept doing activities, and sit at the campfire, singing songs and telling jokes to brighten the mood, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out it was all fake. Worst of all was, Nico couldn’t freely check up on how Hazel and Camp Jupiter were doing; if they had any similar issues. It was frustrating beyond words.

“I’ll go and ask him about it,” Annabeth decided.

“You want me to come with you, Wise Girl?”

Annabeth gave Percy a smile. “That’s okay, Seaweed Brain. I know you were excited about revisiting camp.”

Percy gave her a smile and Nico waved when she turned to leave. Percy stuffed his hands in his pockets, a dopey smile in place. Nico wondered if he ever looked like that when he was with Will. Speaking of, he hadn’t really told many people about his relationship yet. Of course he had hoped to tell Hazel first; but with the communication down… Jackson wouldn’t be the worst first person to tell outside camp. He had been Nico’s first many things. The first real hero Nico had ever seen, his first crush, the first person he had sacrificed so much for because of his feelings, and his first heart break. It was strange, because looking at him, Nico’s chest didn’t twist in that uncomfortable way it had done most of the time Nico had known him. Sure, it had been a bit awkward between them for a while after Nico’s confession, but they’d gotten over it pretty fast and become decently good friends. Not the bro-level stuff Percy and Jason had going on, thank the gods.

Percy took a deep breath, an exhaled. He looked so content being back here. He cast Nico a smile. “So. You’re really staying this time?”

Nico shrugged and started walking. Percy followed him. “I’m really staying. Is that surprising to you?”

“In a way, I guess.” They reached the lake and started walking around it. “I just remember, last time you said you’d stay, you disappeared a few months later and said you’d stay at your father’s place.”

Nico chuckled and kicked at the dirt. “Last time I was dumber and had less friends to make me feel welcome.”

“And this time?” Percy’s eyes searched him.

“This time I have a good handful of people who want me to join their activities. Namely the Apollo cabin. They’ve taken really well to me, somehow. And the Ares cabin always want me to do sword fight training with them. It doesn’t always end well, because we tend to be competitive, but we like each other well enough.”

Percy chuckled. “That’s good to hear.” He gave Nico another once over. “You look a lot better, too.”

Nico scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t go catching feeling for me now, Jackson. That ship has sailed long ago.”

This had Percy sputtering, his face brightening. “I didn’t… that’s not what I…”

Nico couldn’t hold back a laughter. Percy stopped sputtering and looked at him, first with betrayal in his eyes, then his features changed, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing along.

“I cannot believe you!” Percy gave him a chat.

“Your face was priceless.” Nico tried to stop himself from smiling, but honestly, it was so freeing to able to walk next to Percy Jackson as friends with all their history put behind them; water under the bridge.

“But for real. It’s good to see you doing well.” Percy gave him a warm smile and Nico rolled his eyes playfully at him.

“I’m not always doing well,” Nico admitted. “Sure, I’ve gotten help to deal with the bad days and overcome them, so it feels there are less of them these days.”

“Sounds like a lot has happened since we left.”

Nico hummed in agreement. “Camp is quite nice. Nicer than I first gave it credit for. Then again, as I’ve mentioned, I have some good friends here too.”

They walked in silence, Nico taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the worst. He remembered what everyone had said, and knew it was true. No one in camp cared about a same-sex couple. There were twenty of them, and no one batted an eye when Will and Nico stood side to side, leaned against each other, or held hands. Still, the fear gnawed at the back of Nico’s head like a parasite. Just because he knew how to deal with it, didn’t make it any easier. His heart sat in his throat and his limbs felt like they were shaking, although his steps were steady.

He took a deep breath and bit the bullet. “I’ve got a boyfriend now.”

This made Percy stop in his tracks. Nico looked back at him, his slack-jaw face and large eyes, and for a moment the parasite started gnawing at his brain, screaming at him he’d made a mistake. Percy wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore now. But that was silly, because they became friends even though Percy knew Nico used to have a crush on him.

“That’s… That’s great Nico.” Percy smiled and jogged to catch up with him. “Who is it?”

Nico mocked the parasite for being wrong and looked down, suddenly feeling shy. “Will Solace.”

“Will Solace the camp medic?” Percy’s smile stretched.

Nico rolled his eyes. “No, Percy, Will Solace the homeless man in central park. Of course I’m talking about our camp medic!”

Percy laughed, tears strolling out his eyes. He wiped them away. “Okay, okay. No need to be so sarcastic, Nico.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I’ll be sarcastic if I want.”

Percy hummed, falling into step with him. They continued their rounds around the lake making idle conversation here and there. Percy told about the tests he and Annabeth were studying for and how difficult it was. He couldn’t always concentrate very well on it, so Annabeth would sometimes scold him. Apparently they studied together as often as possible, to motivate each other. It was easier to work towards their goal if the person you were trying to achieve said goal with sat in the room with you. It all sounded very nice and surprisingly domestic. Nico wondered if he and Will would ever achieve that. His stomach tied around itself and he realised it was a scary thought; and a silly one. Demigods shouldn’t think that far ahead in their lives, ever. It could only lead to disappointment because of their life expectancy. He zoned out after that, the knots in his stomach turning into vortexes that left him feeling empty and incomplete. Percy didn’t seem to notice. Nico suspected it was because he tried to not let it show. Also, Percy had never been the greatest at picking up on other people’s emotion; no disrespect to the guy.

They made eventually made it around the lake and strolled to the Big House where Annabeth sat and discussed something with Chiron. Their heads were leaned close together, their expressions worried. Whatever they were talking about could not be good. Then again, his dad’s ghosts were whispering lately, so Nico suspected it was even worse than they thought it was.

Percy went up and greeted them, Nico hanging back a bit. Chiron and Annabeth lifted their heads and looked at them, their brows furrowed. Both of them tried for smiles, but Nico could tell something was not the way it was supposed to be. Whatever it was seemed serious enough that Chiron would probably tell them all about it later. Annabeth descended the stairs and took Percy’s hand in her own, looking at Nico with a worried smile.

“We should catch up while we’re here for sure.”

Nico was just about to say something to her when Percy stole his moment. “Nico has a boyfriend.”

Nico had to fight very heard to not send Percy falling with an earthquake.

* * *

He waved them off as they left after dinner and went back to the Apollo cabin. It had been nice, if not a little awkward. Will seemed quite happy with being introduced to Nico’s friend in such a formal manner. Almost like it cemented him more as a reality; maybe it did. It certainly made that knot return in Nico’s stomach, because announcing Will as his boyfriend had made it so much more real for Nico. He had someone he deeply cared for that he could lose at any moment, and it made him short of breath and having to fight parasites telling him he would be much less sad alone. He knew he wouldn’t, and he understood he could enjoy every single day he had for all its worth. Still, he couldn’t help feeling anxious about it, so to distract his thoughts, he decided to venture into unknown territory during the campfire.

He sat shoulder to shoulder with Will, neither of them big fans of being overly affectionate in public. The fire was warm against his skin, and their marshmallows were roasting nicely on the bones Nico had gotten for them. Since Nico could clean them by sheer power of will, he figured they were much cleaner and safer to use than sticks. Will had just smiled, clearly entertained by the idea, and he decided to let Nico go ahead. Eventually, he asked to have his marshmallows roasted on the bones as well, because he figured Nico was right about the sanitation of it all.

“Will?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you ever miss your home?”

Will turned the marshmallows and looked at Nico with a quizzical look. “But I am home.”

Nico searched his eyes for any hint of joking around but found none. “What I meant to say, do you ever miss your home in Texas?”

“Ah.” Will let out a thoughtful hum and looked into the flames. He looked so pretty in the light from the campfire. “Sometimes.” He moved the marshmallows from the fire, checked them, and stuck them back in. “Being at camp is better for me though. First of all, it gives my mum freedom to tour with her music without worrying about me. Second of all, my healing abilities seem to attract ghosts and ghouls that may want to drain me. So camp is a much safer home than Texas.”

Nico watched as Will took the marshmallows of the fire once more and smiled. Nico passed him crackers and chocolate to make s’mores with and helped where he could.

“I never knew you considered camp a home.” Nico pondered, thinking back to Reyna telling him they now had two homes, because they could travel freely between the two camps.

“I do,” Will smiled. “I mean, it’s more of a second home, but it’s still home.”

Nico dug in his head to really consider how he felt about camp and home. It didn’t seem to exactly connect. Then again, Nico hadn’t been here very long. He chewed his s’more, aware of Will’s kind eyes looking at him. Will must be curious but also able to read he should let Nico talk himself, instead of asking about it. Honestly, Nico still sometimes felt like he didn’t deserve Will Solace, but he had him now, and he wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon.

When Nico really stopped to think about it, the last place he’d considered home was Venice, and that was a long time ago. He hadn’t lived very long in DC before his mum died and he was locked away in a hotel. Then he went to a boarding school, and shortly to camp. After that he’d been running around on his own, living from place to place, never having anything permanent to call home. Well, he _did_ have a room in Underworld he could go to any time he wished, but he wasn’t sure he considered the Underworld home, either. It felt close to home because it was the most permanent place he’d had for a long time of his life, but it had none of the things that made Nico think of it as a home.

Despite Hades’ best efforts, it had no warmth, and it had no society to mingle with. It had no life, and it had no feeling of being mostly safe and loved. It was cold and awkward in its attempts at being gentle. It seemed gentle, loving feelings were difficult to display. Then again, being cut off from everything was bound to make you socially awkward. Nico was still struggling with reading social cues sometimes, but he was learning.

Camp felt warmer, for sure. It was safe, and had a society surrounding it. A welcoming society, at that. It had safety, laughter, love, and kindness. It had his friends, and it had Chiron as a parental mentor figure. It also had Will Solace, who Nico was still scared to admit any stronger feelings for, because he seemed to lose anything he said out loud he cared for. But Will must know Nico cared for him even if he couldn’t tell. Right?

He looked at Will who sat and spoke and laughed with Kayla next to him. Sharing some of the s’mores they made and lining up more marshmallows to be roasted. Kayla turned to Austin next to her, and Will turned back to Nico, giving him a warm smile.

“I wonder if I’ll ever call a place home again,” Nico whispered. Only loud enough for Will to hear.

Will gave his hand a squeeze. “What stops you?”

Nico looked at the flames, trying to see if he could see Hestia. She hadn’t been there for a while, but he remembered keenly how she had followed him when he’d been alone. She’d been the one to make him not lose himself completely to the wrong side. She kept him sane and made him feel like he could be loved again one day. He missed seeing and talking to her.

“I haven’t had a permanent home since Venice. I guess I’m used to losing places I call home, and people I care about.”

Will gave him a sympathetic smile and gave him a s’more. “I’m sure you’ll be able to call a place home again some day. Many campers don’t call this home, and that’s okay.”

“What makes you call it home?”

Will chewed and took a swing of a drink before answering. “I guess the feeling of safety and people I like around me. I know I can always return here. It will be here, and the people will be ready to welcome me.”

“But camp only lets you stay until you’re eighteen.”

“That’s true. Still, I don’t see it any different. Even outside of camp, people tend to move. For instance, if they have children, or if they get promotions and want something bigger, or if they want pets. Even if places we stay at can be temporary, they can still be home.”

Nico nibbled at his cracker. He was quite sure this was his last s’more for today. There was logic in Will’s words. Still, Nico couldn’t think of camp as home. At least not quite yet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay. I got caught up in making lesson plans for my coming, final internship. I hope you like it :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Happy birthday!

The rest of December passed without much of a hitch. Of course, Nico had a terrible day on the anniversary of Bianca’s death, but with his friends around him to help him through the day, it didn’t feel as hopeless and empty as usual. Even if his gut felt hollow and all of him was cold, and even though he dropped the temperature around him, people still included him without commenting on it. They treated him the same, and gave him space when he needed it, and let him talk as much or as little as he wanted about Bianca, and her life and her death.

By the end of December, just a few days before New Year’s Eve, Chiron gave them news on the communication situation and let them know the oracles were out of commission as well, cementing how connected this was to Apollo’s disappearance. It definitely dampened the mood before and during New Year’s Eve, although they did their best to keep it light-hearted enough. Sherman Yang’s poor attempt at that sounded like something Nico might have once said himself: It can’t get any worse than this.

New Year’s Eve passed, and the new year started. Cold and dark, with campers who felt unsure and slightly unsafe but still filled the day with activities for some semblance of normalcy. It was odd to navigate in camp like that when it was usually more lively, especially when Nico’s mood got very affected by it, and the returning sad and bad thoughts about this never being a home got harder to fight with unhappy campers around him. But he tried, as much as he knew everyone else around him did.

In early January, a scroll dropped into camp. It literally dropped from the sky in the middle of lunch and opened up, showing the hologram of Leo Valdez telling everyone he was okay. Nico could not believe this guy. He had left in the way he had. He had _died_. His friends had mourned him, and his siblings held a vigil, yet, there he was, alive and well, running off with a girl. Not just any girl, either, but the titan sorceress Calypso. Apparently, they were going off to see the world on the living automaton dragon, Festus. Nico could strangle him. His sister, along with the rest of the Argo II crew, had wept for Leo Valdez, and been saddened for days, and the imp had the audacity to share something like this. It reminded Nico way too much of the Hermes campers trying to diffuse situations by yelling _it_ _’s just a prank, bro!_

Nico decided to keep that scroll for himself. If he spent time being furious with Leo Valdez, maybe he’d forget to feel sad and miserable about the fact that they could not communicate with the outside world, their oracles were out of order, and Apollo was nowhere to be found. He had tried to ask his father about it, as the gods of Olympus were radio silent too, but all he’d gotten had been a short _I can_ _’t tell you anything yet_ , before his father had dissipated and left him just as clueless as everyone else. Nico did not like not having the information he needed, at all. He was tempted to say he loathed it, but that seemed like a strong word, and hate didn’t seem to cover it exactly.

On 28th of January, he strolled to the dining pavilion for breakfast; same as usual. The skies were grey, overcast with clouds. It looked like it might rain later, though Nico hoped it would pass over as it usually did. His breath fogged in front of him. The hoodie he’s borrowed from camp was definitely not warm enough. He’d went through most of December trying to ignore it, but he still pulled his shoulders close to his ears throughout most of the day, and lately, it showed. His shoulders were always tense, the muscles in his necked coiled and tender. Despite that, he only had this hoodie for warmth. He had rummaged through all the passed down clothes of earlier campers, left for the current ones, and there were no winter jackets. The only jacket that fit him was a thin, black leather jacket. It was more of a spring jacket than a winter jacket, for sure, and rumour had it, it once belonged to Thalia. Not that Nico really cared who owned it beforehand, he just wanted something warm.

He scooted next to Will and sat closer than he normally would. Will had gotten a new jacket via the post by some sort of miracle. His mum had apparently sent it as a Christmas gift, but because of the communication being down, it hadn’t made it in time. Still, it was a miracle it had made it at all. It looked warm, and Nico was envious of it. Will touched a hand to Nico’s cheek with a worried look on his face, his brow furrowed.

“You’re freezing.”

Nico shuffled closer. “You don’t say. I’ve looked through all the hand-me-down clothes, but no one’s left a stupid winter jacket in my size. The warmest is this dumb hoodie, which was fine during most of November and some of December, but it’s been getting colder, and the hoodie isn’t _that_ great.”

Will let out a low, worried hum and scooted closer to Nico, putting his arm around him and rubbing his arm to heat him up. Normally, Nico wasn’t much for such a display of affection in public, but right now, he cared more about feeling warmer than he did his personal boundaries.

Will leaned in to mutter in Nico’s ear. “I’ve got something for you after breakfast. I thought it wouldn’t come, since I’ve been waiting for ages, but it came just before breakfast.”

Nico raised his eyes curiously, grunted, and started eating. He tried not to eat too fast, because he didn’t want to show his anticipation too much, but knowing Will, he caught onto it anyway. Will pulled away to eat his own breakfast, and Nico kind of missed the heat, but he didn’t complain as he finished eating. They cleared their plates, and Nico said his thanks to the cyclopes who worked nonstop to wash the dishes. They deserved at least that much for their work. Will gave him a nudge with his elbow and nodded for him to follow him to the Apollo cabin. Even though Nico’s schedule didn’t align with the Apollo cabin’s, he followed Will. Inside, Kayla and Austin were picking up bows and quivers for their archery class. Despite not having the class with the Hades cabin, neither commented on Nico entering their cabin, and when they left, they both gave him smiles and waved at him, telling him they’d see him later. Nico gave them a smile, trying to soak up the heat of the cabin. It was a bit difficult since the door was still open, and the wind came in and touched his back, raising the hairs in his neck.

Will rummaged around beneath his bed, having opted for a bottom bunk in case he needed to be out fast for emergencies. Nico looked at him with a raised eyebrow, rubbing his arms with curiosity. Will finally found what he was looking for and pulled a box out from underneath the bed. It was about the same size as a sheet of cardboard, but thicker. It was slick and unwrapped, golden letters adorning the black box. Nico eyes the writing curiously, reading the label. It wasn’t a brand he’d ever hear of, but judging from the box, it must be quite fancy.

“Sorry.” Will said, looking forlorn as he handed the box to Nico. “I planned on wrapping it, but like I said, it literally came this morning.”

Nico sat on Will’s bed and pulled the box into his lap, caressing it. Despite its cardboard surface, it was soft to the touch. The letters and trimming were indented, shimmering in the light from the Apollo cabin. A smile pulled at the corner of Nico’s mouth, although he couldn’t help his curiosity.

“What’s the occasion?”

Will looked shocked for a moment, like Nico had grown a second head, or a third eye, then he chuckled. “It’s your birthday, you doofus.”

Nico blinked at the box, then at Will. Right… his birthday. That was today. Big fifteen. Nico had honestly not expected anything for it, since he was used to running around. He couldn’t remember the last time he celebrated his birthday. Probably back in Venice with his mum and Bianca.

“Well?” Will enquired. “Open it.”

Nico nodded, still trying to catch up to someone giving him a birthday present. He fingered the box one last time, warmth spreading in his chest. Will had given him a birthday present. He must have remembered Nico’s birthday from the hospital files, because Nico couldn’t remember having talked about birth dates yet. He should definitely ask so he could get Will something too for his birthday.

Carefully, as if the box would tear from any wrong touch, Nico slid the lid off. Inside, thin, white paper covered what looked like a piece of cloth. It had a leathery smell, and Nico let himself enjoy the scent for a while. It smelled a bit like fancy dinner parties where everyone wore their finest leather shoes and fur coats. He’d only been to a fancy dinner once with his mum and Bianca, and he remembered hating it, but now, he liked being able to reminisce. He moved the thin paper as carefully as he’d moved the lid of the box and had to do a double take when he saw what was underneath.

Inside the box was a jacket. It seemed to be made of leather with a wooly inner lining. The jacket was black, and a few sizes too big for him, according to the size tag. Gingerly, he put the box on the bed beside him and stood up. He took of his borrowed hoodie and slipped into the jacket. As expected, it was a bit big for him, but not to the print where it seemed to be in the way of anything. He could still grasp his sword and fight. It was easy to move in, and, most importantly of all, it was warm. So incredibly warm and comfortable. Nico never wanted to take it off again.

He looked at Will who was smiling shyly. “So? What do ya’ think?”

Nico smiled, his vision blurry from tears he was quick to wipe in the sleeve of his new jacket that his boyfriend got him for his birthday. “I love it. Thank you.”

Nico went in, and with all the bravery of a veteran, he hugged Will tight and let Will hug him back. He hugged him for longer than he had hugged anyone, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Happy birthday,” Will whispered into his hair.

Nico pulled out, looked at him, and kissed him. It was a lot less terrifying than he’d convinced himself it would be, and it felt so incredibly good and warm. He never wanted to do anything else again for a long while, but he knew he had to at least breath.

“Thank you,” he said, opening his eyes and looking at his flustered boyfriend, whose dopey, dreamy grin grew.


End file.
